Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 5:58am
I recently start posting every tiny details of my son on my multiply, no intention but as a token of reminder for myself. As a working mother who officially work from 8 -5, and are not home from 7 to 7 I know that i missed a lot .. his first step, his first crawl, his first word .. and i would like to pretend that every time he did it when i was around, that’s the first time ever for anything .. i knew better, but i didn’t want to know .. it’s a little thing that matter so much – and if i’m making big deal over it, I’m sure i would lose it .. this is my choice of becoming a working mother – not a career woman because i never pursue any career, only to earn a living
I didn’t want to brag about slaving myself, because my job is not hard – it took time and patience but certainly i never take myself as a martyr .. It is not a tough job, with a full air conditioned room with all the facilities – but what i had missed, i don’t want to count .. every tiny bit of him I treasure so much, like any mother will do.
I intend to be firm with my choice because i need the job .. I want the best thing for my child and ready to provide it because i could not wanting something and ask other people to serve it
There’ll be time when the best thing for him is for me to stay with him, and i hope when the time come i could stop with ease. it’s hard to leave him everyday, it’s hard even when he’s got plenty of people around him lavished him with attention it’s harder when i have to leave him with just a maid.. and it’s hell when i have to leave him lying sick .. But I won’t say sorry to him because I didn’t want him to think that his mother making mistake every single day she left him and no one would understand how it feels to be me unless they experience the exact same thing and I don’t need a standing ovation from no one but please don’t judge me because you don’t know anything ..