So here’s the thing, I am resigning from my job. Hal yang asalnya hanya wacana selama bertahun – tahun akhirnya jadi sebuah pilihan juga. Banyak faktor yang terlibat, and to put it simple, when you started think about something – the universe conspire to make it happen.
Scary, but unevitable. Hal yang relieving antara lain tanggapan bos bos di kantor yang encouraging, colleague yang supportive dan I actually leaving the office with smooth end. Husband and my parents support of course were playing big part on my final decision.
However, on the other part, banyak juga orang – terutama fellow working mother yang menyayangkan keputusan ini and act as if I was going to commit suicide. Dis-empowerment (is it even a word?) And the financial challenge was their major concern. And of course it was mine too, big time. I am leaving my comfort zone, what I was good at and routine,not to mention big, salary.
But in the end it all comes back to the primary reason why I’ve been working my ass off – the children.
So I took the big plunge, from a working 8 – 5 mama to stay at home mother. No lunch break, No more after office hour me time, a full time and stay at home mama – me.
It was on june 1st, 2011. 2 months ago, and it was overwhelming like crazy. I know it wasn’t going to be easy, but still ..
I had a few meltdowns, but in times it comes easier and more manageable however until today I’m still struggling to become better in my new role.
The work is neverending, emotionally exhausting though fully rewarding like no other job would offer. So the routine is get up, making breakfast, bikin air mandi, mandiin toddler, mandiin bayi, nyuapin toddler, nyuapin bayi, put the baby to nap, nyiapin makan siang, nyuapin toddler, nemenin toddler main, nyuapin bayi, put them to nap, mandi, beres2 baju dan rumah, nyiapin air mandi sore, mandiin toddler, mandiin bayi, nyiapin makan malam, nyuapin, makan, nemenin main, beres2 mainan, etc etc. Terus berulang ulang dan tanpa jeda. The only time I got for myself is when they both asleep, yang harusnya dipake mandi dan makan. But it is such a luxury, kadang kalo udah gitu, I just wanted to lay down and enjoying the time alone hahaha
If it sounds horrible then I’m not telling it right. Don’t get me wrong, the feeling to be able to stay close to my children is beyond words, it is what I used to only could imagine felt like when I was still working.
it is also a full time job that is exhausting, but what really a nerve breaking was to realize that I’m such a rookie home maker. The way people took for granted and lack of appreciation for this job could be really frustrating, while I thought to be able to prepare 2 course menu and a baby meal a day inbetween taking care of 2 small persons are already major accomplishment. People could easily underestimate you, and you let them – thinking that you are doing nothing ‘important’ – when in fact this is the most important thing I have ever had in my life .. To raise humanbeing ..
And I salute you all SAHM who’ve been doing this all this time and doesn’t lose their sanity and even manage to blogging/ running a bussiness/ be creative .. I salute you with all my heart. If I could ask a salary for this job, I would think triple my current salary would only started to measure .
That’s pretty much it for the update of life – hope to blog again soon, the details are too many to be unblogged